It’s been raining in Chennai for the past month. I mention this like a big deal, because it is. And I love it. Everything is so gloomy, dark and cold that you get the typical Forks vibe. *that reference might be lost on you if you haven’t seen twilight. And i’m sorry for you* Just like how I feel.Β You sit there on a Sunday morning in your bedroom, with the balcony doors wide open, listening to the rain dance around your window sill and letting in occasional drizzles when the wind feels like it. AndΒ you write.Β Lonely

I don’t have anything on my mind. And I don’t have anything in my heart either. That’s precisely the problem. When you push everyone around you, and later end up feeling…. no, I wouldn’t call this ‘lonely‘. I created Β this. I placed myself in this black-hole. I wanted this so bad, and now that I’ve got it, I try to run away. Again.

Earlier this week, my friend told me something. That she isn’t happy. She’s got the job that she wanted, has all the salary for herself but doesn’t know what to do, has a loving family and friends to hang out with. But nothing gives her real happiness or the feeling of being content. I was struck so hard when she said this, cause I thought I was the only one. I realize I need a Purpose to live, a target to get to, a goal to achieve. To be my driving force. But I just feel so exhausted and drained and empty. Yes, I’m not lonely, I’m empty.


Do you feel like this way too? How do you cope during these dark-phases? Or if you are a particularly cheerful person, please do send some love πŸ™‚ x

0 thoughts on “This and that.

  1. Hi Sharu. So you live in Chennai. Lovely. I’ve never been to Chennai, but I lived in Jaipur for almost three months, and was in Kolkata, Darjeeling and Pedong back in 2000. I guess you just finished celebrating Diwali eh.

    I used to try and fill my life with things, money, boyfriends, etc. None of it every gave me lasting fulfillment. None of it ever filled the empty void in my heart. I think all humans experience this at one point or another. I don’t anymore, but I used to when I was young and unsure of what life was all about.
    Another thing I learned is that satisfaction in life doesn’t come from material possessions. The true treasures are those that can’t be bought.

    Sharu, you have such a lovely blog here. I will be following, and am so glad to have met you.

    πŸ™‚ <3

    1. Wow, you’ve visited so many places in India! So glad to connect with a world traveler here on wordpress. I’m already in awe of you Stacilys. <3 Looking forward to read more about your travels and experiences.

      And yes, that is what I keep telling myself. My intellectual part sub-consiously understands that I'd eventually be okay, but I still feel like I'm suffocated and I don't even have a way out. Hope I get through this soon.

      I'm so happy to have found your blog and connected with you. Stacilys. πŸ™‚

  2. Cheers ! I’ve felt the same way so many times.I want to be alone but then realize It would be better if someone is there when I’m alone.Cope ?? still I didn’t find the way to cope my emptiness.Anyway I hope, you will find the way soon. πŸ™‚

    1. Lagaan! Thank you so much for your comment! Means a lot πŸ™‚
      And yes, I feel the exact same way. Like I’m exhausted an suffocated at the same time.
      Will keep you posted when I cope πŸ™‚ You will, too πŸ™‚

  3. Hope the rain lets up soon. I love the rain, but too much of it at a go can cause havoc. πŸ™‚

    Yeah. That feeling of emptiness is there at times, but it subsides when I write, so at least I know the path ahead, I guess!

    1. Hey Vinay. You’re in Chennai too? I’m liking the rain only when I’m indoors. People outside suffer a lot. Hope it eases down soon πŸ™‚
      And the vacant feeling did become a bit better after putting it down on paper (in the blog, in this case). So yeah, it helps.
      Thanks for visiting Vinay πŸ™‚

      1. Umm. no. I’m in Bangalore, and the aftereffects of the rain there is felt here. (raining continuously since morning). πŸ™‚

        I’d visit more often, but Gmail sends your new post announcements to my spam folder for some reason. πŸ™

  4. Hey, girl. I was feeling this way a while back. It’s something that can’t be explained. It will pass. Sending lots of love your way. <3 :*
    And, yes, the rain. I love it. Even though I can't go out (swim panitu dhan poganum), I'm just watching it through my window, and it's beautiful! <3

    Take care, love.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

%d bloggers like this: